DELTA: Banned 4 LIFE

This is unfortunate, mainly because I have so many Frequent Flier miles that will now go to waste. Le sigh.

So, on FOUR separate Delta flights leaving Amsterdam, SIX one-inch needles have been found inside of sandwiches. This is some vile shit. 

SIDE NOTE: Needle aside, that sandwich looks disgusting. That meat is 30 different colors and looks hard and dry and the cheese looks scary and it generally just makes my mouth hurt.

ONE of the passengers, James Tonges, has actually been put on a precautionary anti-HIV medication while they wait for test results as he found the needle when it poked the top of his mouth during the second bite of his nasty sandwich. 

"It's just kind of a wait and see game now," Tonges said.

"That's rough." I said.  

James Tonges, looking pissed

HOWEVER, good 'ole James Tonges son, who was traveling on a separate but equal flight ALSO BIT A NEEDLE. Unlike his poppa a young Tongs kept his needle (suspect) rather than give it to the police as he is planning a lawsuit. Call me (maybe) crazy but in my day when a father and son duo both eat needles at different times and plan to sue they are probably scammin' yo ass. 

Sooooo that's all crazy and I can't wait to see what happens. 

new hero alert: Steven Slater

Filed under: Take No Shit. Let this be inspirational to you on a retch Monday as "The Man" beats you down.

On a flight from Pittsburgh to JFK, JetBlue flight attendant Steven Slater was hit in the head by a passengers suitcase coming off the overhead bin. When Slater demanded an apology, the two argued and the passenger told Slater to FUCK OFF. THIS my friends, is where it gets good.

FIRST, Slater (AC if you're nasty) gets on the PA system and tells the entire plane to go fuck themselves, and calls out the dude who refused to apologize. THEN, in an act of "It's Monday dont STEP BITCH", Slater activated the emergency escape slide, grabbed 2 beers from the galley and slide down the chute, assumingly quitting his thankless job as a sky cop.

YES. YES. YES. YES.

Here is what Slater looks like, just to paint the fullest picture:

This dude is a FULL BLOWN HERO! GAH I bet that slide, where in my mind he was shotgunning those beers, was the most fun this lil cherub has had in weeks. RUN AND TELL THAT!

Read the full story HERE