Olympic Porn

Courtesy of US Swimming hottie, Tom Daley:

OLYMPIANS LOVE METH???

Obviously I think all celebrities are on meth, and most are. 

BUTTTTTTT

something I have never pondered is if OLYMPIANS also love meth!?!?!?!

I know that Olympic athletes are usually pretty healthy and love their bodies as their temples and all, but they are also famous, and fame usually leads to meth use, in my professional opinion. PLUS a quick google search reveals that Meth only stays in one's system for 3-5 days. So they could totally stopped pre-London (I am looking at YOU, Phelps).

Please enjoy a selection of methy-y looking athletes, competing in the London Games. And may the odds be ever in your favor.

Paul Biedermann, German swimmer

Germans can have a scary looking scene, but this dude will eat your heart whilst it beats between his methy teeth. 

Vasiliki Arvaniti, Greek beach volleyball player

Greek Yogurt + Volleyballs = METH

Jana Vesela, Czech basketball player

Yes this is a woman, and Yes I know she is a female basketball player.

Butttt METH. 

Ryan Lochte, US swimmer

OF COURSE Mr. Lochte never wears a shirt. And I don't think he is on Meth really but he does look like he needs a hug. 

 

Olivia Price, Australian sailor

Sailors are known meth users. PLUS she looks dead in the eyes. 

Luca Dotto, Italian swimmer

Luca is horrifying. His eyes are saying GIVVVVEEEE MEEEE MEETHHHH.

Katherine Driscoll, British trampolinist

First, being a TRAMPOLINIST is Olympic-worthy!?!?! That shit cray. Summer of '92 I could have trampolined in the Olympics. Great Summer. Second, this TRAMPolinist is a meth head. 

Marcel Hacker, German rower

Meth skin. a lovely shade of yellowish-grey. 

Michael Phelps, US swimmer

And last but not least, the biggest let-down of this year's Olympics. Some say he aint trying', I say:
METHHH!

Source

WTF IS THIS SHIT?

Let's get one thing straight. It's not possible to not be from a country. 

Were you born in the Ocean? 

In SPACE? 

No. You were born in a country. So at the Olympics, which is when Countries compete at different sporting events, I don't understand how you can come country less. The Hunger Games would never allow someone not from a district to compete. It's like showing up to Toddlers & Tiaras without a mom. It's just not right.

LIARS:

Queen of the Olympics

ATTENTION!!!!

Only 10 days remain until the Olympics!!!