dream wedding....

today is national donut day

how do you eat your donuts? As cheeseburger buns? Gross. Put it down. 

Whatever you do, dont fly Qantas

VILEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Flight attendants doing a routine cabin check before a flight, found a rat in the compartment storing medical equipment, grounding the plane for more than a day.

And what was the rat doing on the plane you may ask?

The rodents had been in a cabinet holding a defibrillator. 

I cant write about this anymore bc rats are so gross.  

and sometimes, meth leads to genius:

Case in point:

Long live meth fueled decisions in hot weather. 

Brangelina Rules The World

Log on to Netflix, go directly to jail

Tennessee be wack, yo!

A new law has been passed making it illegal to sign into a friend's netflix account, even if they have given you the password. 

Anyone found guilty of "stealing" up to $500 could face a year in jail and a $2,500 fine. "Stealing" more than $500 and it's a felony charge with more jail time and bigger fees. 

Pretty stupid. 

What are you doing this weekend?

Go on a picnic!

calling child services!!!!

Lord. Have. Mercy.

The fact that i hate squirrels, dead or alive aside, this is pretty vile.

Watch immeds:




NOW.

a few things:

"bathtime" is not enough. this child needs to be hosed down like a prison inmate with lice.

If I had a child, and this perfect little being picked up a dead squirrel, my first reaction would be "PUT DOWN THAT DISEASED BEAST" not "I should grab my video camera!"

rabies for babies.

T-Pain would be proud

Apple bottom jeans. Boots with the furrrrr....

FreeLeahPepper is BACK IN ACTION

ho.ly. SHIT. literally.

I mean. THIS is why the internet was invented, so we can see this woman eat her own poop. The dread-locked man's reaction is beyond priceless.

harry baals.

'nuff said.

"i can't live in a world where this could happen"...

the BIEBS was robbed at The Grammys last night. Sad for him. Sadder for this girl:

happy valentines day!

My VDay gift to all of you is to start blogging again.

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I am NOT a hipster!

If you like Jersey Shore, you will sort of like Hipster Shore:

Hipster Shore - watch more funny videos

ice creamz

Ohhhhhh Gucci Mane. WHY WHY WHY did you get this tat????

this is bullshit.

UGH. This is such a haze.

Some super bored astronomers have restored the original Babylonian zodiac by recalculating the dates associated with each sign to accommodate shifts in the Earth's axis. HUH? Exactly.

Here is the new zodiac, which is total shit for brains:

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.

Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.

Pisces: March 11-April 18

Aries: April 18-May 13.

Taurus: May 13-June 21.

Gemini: June 21-July 20.

Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.

Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.

Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.

Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.

Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.

Ophiuchus:* Nov. 29-Dec. 17.

Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.

* Discarded by the Babylonians because they wanted 12 signs per year ( ALSO STUPID - that sounds like the coolest sign yet!)

A shot at an explanation from the Minnesota Planetarium Society, who is responsible for this mess:

"When [astrologers] say that the sun is in Pisces, it's really not in Pisces," said Parke Kunkle, a board member of the Minnesota Planetarium Society.

SO. This means I have lived my entire life as an Aries, which, if you know me i AM AN ARIES, and now I am supposed to be Pisces!?!?! I mean, i LOVE me some Pisces but I refuse to be one. I am sorry.

My world is crumbling around me.

you're so vain...

Points for spelling.

Thanks to BobbyDi for this pic.

KEEP EM COMING

Empire State of Mind

This is pretty amaze. Makes me sad and love NYC all at once. Mind altering substances are recommended for optimal viewing pleasure:



NYC - Mindrelic Timelapse from Mindrelic on Vimeo.

IM DA ISH - vanity plates!

Send me your spottings!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

Now, I hate rodents, decidedly more than the next gal, but this is ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DISGUSTING. If this happened to me I would get a face transplant ala John Travolta and Nic Cage in FACE OFF.

WATCH. THIS. NOW.



Maybe take a cab today!

bump n grind

Apparently, Honda has created the "Ultimate Sex Robot":

The sexbot has four expandable peens, vagines in three sizes, varying levels of butt-plugs, "vibro-humping-pads" and nipple tweakers to boot.


Wow.


Do you want to take a ride on the robot sex slave train???

where's the beef?

Well, a cow in the Republic of Georgia has sprung a two-headed calf from her loins:

Sadly, the cow is refusing to nurse the baby two-head, so farmers are feeding it with a bottle. To answer your burning question, the calf eats with both heads. 

This brings up a great point, the world is ending. Maybe there is something to this whole 2012 thing and everyone should be out crossing items off the 'ole bucket list. Skeptical about the dawning of the apocalypse? Evidence:

Dead birds falling from the sky:

Dead fish and crabs washing ashore:

It's the final season of Oprah:

Sarah Palin:

The following people have written books on The New York Times bestseller list. The minds of our time:

Lauren Conrad:

Tori Spelling

 Kate Gosselin:

 Paris Hilton:

I dont think much more evidence is needed. enjoy the end of days!

American Apparel for FLDS

Alright American Apparel, we get it, you make clothes for hipsters. You make clothes that are even too hipster for the hipsters. And you trick people into thinking these hipster threads are normal and wearable. 

Behold the newest AA trend, FLDS-chic. 

If you dont remember FLDS, they are the polygamist child molesters with weird hair who look like this:

Please don't let this become a trend. 

calling all intergalactic chubby chaser baby daddys!

There is a blob in outer space. AND IT IS ALIVE AND LONELY!


New photos from the Hubble Telescope recently released by NASA show a green blob, about the same size as our very own Milky Way GALAXY. The blob creature is GIVING BIRTH to new stars, considered young at a few million years old in remote parts of the galaxy where stars dont normally form. 


FUCKING. AWESOME. 


The pressure that creates the stars causes parts of the blob to collapse which makes it appear ALLLIIIVVEEEE. 


Bill Keel, the astronomer who explained the phenomenon, said that parts of the blob are collapsing and that pressure makes "very lonely newborn stars" that are "in the middle of nowhere."


Here is a real picture of the glorious blob:

REALLY???

I realize that it is VURRY cold in NYC, but this is unacceptable behavior. I will be spending my night hunting this mythical beast.

someone get this girl a record deal!

I. WORSHIP. THIS.

I am having an emo fantasy about this girl accepting her first Grammy and she tearfully thanks her single father for beginning her love of music and teaching her determination etc.

I know this is WAY too nice for a usual FLP post, but this just melts my cold, black heart.

Also, the way this guy whistles is CRAZY.

How I have always dreamt my wedding day to be:

WOW.

Also, why on EARTH is the bride wearing BLACK tights under her dress? Thats almost more distrubing to me than this wedding/the people/tazering.

The worst pick up line of 2010 goes to...

... Mark Anthony Richardson Jr. This man is up for biggest fail of the year and not just because he looks like Sonic the Hedgehog and Neil Patrick Harris had a deranged baby child.

Mr. Jr Richardson has been posing as an autistic man so that baby sitters (who he does not need) will clean his diaper, sexually arousing him.

EW. This man is vile and should be publicly humiliated and tarred and feathered and castrated. And probably some other stuff too.

Now, this pint-sized almost midge (he is only 4' 9" - thats like Snooki sized) is currently being held in jail after being charged with a variety of a felony count of sexual battery and SEVEN misdemeanors.

Anyone in Oklahoma should track this dude down and fuck him up.

Vuvu-grenade whistle

This is why DJ Pauly D is my second favorite Jersey Shore cast member: