excuses 101

Getting out of work is an art, and I have a permanent exhibition at MOMA with my craft. In the effort to let all people skip work as often as you want, please find below one of my go-to excuses for missing a Monday when they know you were gone for a weekend.
This is a real email I sent my boss, and it worked.

Hi-
I just got bumped off my flight for some air marshall, I argued it but there was nothing I could do. There are no more flights back to NY today, so the next flight I can get on is at 6am tomorrow - landing I'm JFK at 10am. I will come straight from the airport to the office. I know we have status at 10, so I can dial in on my way to the office, just might be 5-10 minutes late dialing in.


Sorry about this, I'm not sure why I got bumped instead of someone else but they didn't accept "I have to be at work in the morning" as a valid reason to not bump me.


Thanks.