Ezekiel A. Ashman has had better days. Ezekiel is/was (status unknown) dating a young lady by the name of Amanda Victor. Amanda was very mad because Ezekiel had been seeing his ex girlfriend. During a heated argument, Ezekiel slapped Amanda. Naturally, Amanda got mad. Amanda retaliated by "grabbing hold of Ashman's testicle sack and tearing the scrotum open with her hands".
Police were called and arrived to find Ezekiel dripping with the blood and "with lacerations to his ballbag. When asked what happened, Zekiey simply responded "She ripped my balls off".
Well put. Zekiey was admitted to a local hospital and both were charged with assault.
Wait. It gets better. I found a picture of Ezekiel and his lady (for real, i found them on facebook):
Hayyyy Girl! Love your shoes!!!!