BEWARE HURRICANE SANDY

Katy Perry the Wedding Unicorn

Boy meets girl,

At burning man.

Boy marries girl,

with Katy Perry the (magical) Wedding Unicorn.

Katy Perry the Wedding Unicorn in all her glory.

This is no ordinary Katy Perry or Wedding Unicorn (obv) - she "pees" lemonade, shoots pink FIRE and sneezes glitter.

A guest enjoys Katy Perry the Wedding Unicorn's Lemonade Pee!

I mean. All I can really think to say is hallelujah. Suddenly I know what has been missing in my life. 

Katy Perry the Wedding Unicorn was a wedding gift from the bride + groom's friends (fellow burning man-mates, obv). She was built in Brooklyn before being carefully transported to Vermont for the nuptials. She took four months to create and cost nearly $3,000 in materials! 

Katy Perry the Wedding Unicorn shoots fire from it's uni-horn

And from another angle

Moment of true glory: Katy Perry the Wedding Unicorn shoots fire
AND sneezes glitter

The bride. 

obsession.

more HERE

exactly as i remember it...

Mickey Rourke gets corrective plastic surgery

wait....corrective?

The Half Ton KILLER....

Oy. 

I assume unless you live under a rock you have heard of the Half Ton Killer. You know Mayra Rosales, the GIANT woman (she weighs 1000 pounds. ONE THOUSAND. I feel skinny) who was accused of killing her nephew (by sitting/rolling on him) and then falsely admitted to being the killer until it came out that her sister (the boy's mother) actually killed him by hitting him with a hairbrush and fatty pants was just covering up for her. 

This is some fucked up shit, 'Merica. 

Her lawyer describes meeting his obese client for the first time and mistaking parts of her body for extra pillows. 

"When you first walk in, she's got a blanket covering her; there's pillows all around her and so you don't know whether it's pillows or whether it's her," he said.

"If you reach back in again, you think this is all pillows. You make a circle and [you realize] that it's Mayra."

i actually have to hand it to this fatty. she pleaded guilty because she didn't want her sister's other children to go without a mother. that is heart warming.

however, when the coroners report stated that the child had died from being beaten not being smothered  they knew it wasn't her because she is too fat to beat someone.

that about covers it. 

A Photo Journey: Ghetto Prom

few things make me happier than ghetto proms. 

2 dates. so pimp. 

daughter in matching dress. of course. 

i'm not a girl. not yet a woman. 

gang signs on the nip. 

my favorite part of this is him staring at her ass, which i assume to be hanging out. 

no shirt. love her. 

i think this is a wedding, but i had to add it because it's so amazing. 

this is what happens when white girls try to be ghetto. 

"Gucci, Gucci. Louis Louis.."

"Girl make sure you get my train in the shot"

serial killer. and too old for prom. 

background going-ons make this one beyond

This guy is a TRUE pimp.

parking lot red carpet.

The inspiration for all ghetto prom attendees. 

I blame Gaga for this one. 

Add caption

sponge bob square prom

I could wallpaper my entire apt with this much denim

So Much Thirst

i am very thirsty today. meow. 

THE GREATEST GIFT OF ALL: DOWNTON ABBEY SEASON 3!!!!

i have made the greatest discovery of all-time. 

i have discovered how to watch

DOWNTON ABBEY Season 3 online. 

If you haven't watched seasons 1 & 2 yet, you should watch them right this very second.

Stop, Collaborate and Listen:

1.  Click HERE to open Tunnel Bear 

2. Click on DOWNLOAD Tunnel Bear

3. Select Mac or PC Download

4. DOWNLOAD IT, YO

5. Open your brand new Tunnel Bear App

6. Set-up an account:

Here is the one part of this post where I will disappoint you. You must purchase the year-long option for $50. That is all this will cost and you will be able to watch TV on ANY UK site so think of all the Ab Fab and what-not this is buying you for a full year. Don't try and be cheap and buy the $5/month because it doesn't give you enough data to finish an episode (trust me, I tried).

7. Confirm email from Tunnel Bear to activate membership.

8. LOG-IN AND START TUNNEL BEAR!

9. Select "ON" for the knob on the left and "UK" for the knob on the right.

A fully connected Tunnel Bear moment! 

10. Relax, it takes a minute to connect. 

11. Connected? Now is the moment of GLORY!

Click HERE to open the ITV page that has Season 3 of Downton.

12. ENJOY

13. Send me a present or a large check for bringing this magic to your world.

Monday, Monday

Mondays Blow. Everyone knows this. 

I'm here to help.  

Please enjoy this music video and series of A+ photo moments intended to turn your frown upside down.