Hairy Situation

WARNING: This post is not for the faint of heart. If you don't like gross things please fast forward to the next post. You've been warned.

Now if you do like gross things, sit back and relax because this is a doozie. 

this has nothing to do with a nun. 

Our story begins in Indore, India where a lovely 19 year old gal (lets call her Raita) decided to go to the hospital as she hadn't been able to eat or drink in several days and bitch was hungry. 

Raita's doctor was in for a treat! Raita liked to snack on HAIR AND CHALK and this had caused for a nasty situation. The chalk created a paste of sorts which combined with the hair RESULTED IN A FOUR POUND HAIR BALL STUCK IN HER STOMACH AND SMALL INTESTINES. 

I'll give you a minute to let that sink in.

A four pound hair ball FILLING her body.

What does a four pound hair ball look like?

(this is the gross part you've been warned)

Hairball post removal.

Goodness. That about sums it up. 

dream wedding....

Whatever you do, dont fly Qantas

VILEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Flight attendants doing a routine cabin check before a flight, found a rat in the compartment storing medical equipment, grounding the plane for more than a day.

And what was the rat doing on the plane you may ask?

The rodents had been in a cabinet holding a defibrillator. 

I cant write about this anymore bc rats are so gross.  

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

Now, I hate rodents, decidedly more than the next gal, but this is ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DISGUSTING. If this happened to me I would get a face transplant ala John Travolta and Nic Cage in FACE OFF.

WATCH. THIS. NOW.



Maybe take a cab today!

The worst pick up line of 2010 goes to...

... Mark Anthony Richardson Jr. This man is up for biggest fail of the year and not just because he looks like Sonic the Hedgehog and Neil Patrick Harris had a deranged baby child.

Mr. Jr Richardson has been posing as an autistic man so that baby sitters (who he does not need) will clean his diaper, sexually arousing him.

EW. This man is vile and should be publicly humiliated and tarred and feathered and castrated. And probably some other stuff too.

Now, this pint-sized almost midge (he is only 4' 9" - thats like Snooki sized) is currently being held in jail after being charged with a variety of a felony count of sexual battery and SEVEN misdemeanors.

Anyone in Oklahoma should track this dude down and fuck him up.

nailed it.

Spotted: ACTUAL nails on the streets of Shreveport, LA. Does anyone know what causes this? This is INSANE:

Now, speaking of nails, I've noticed a new nail trend that needs to immediately be addressed: long pointy nails. 

Here is a dramatic example:

These are noting more than prison shivs attached to fingers. 

Now that celebs are shaping their claws into daggers, the masses are sure to follow. They must be stopped.

Princess Riri:

Fergie:

At the end of the day, there is no difference between these nails and a chicken claw. 

vile.

Here Fishy Fishy

The fine country of Japan produces many unique dishes, but this is just vile. Tuna-Mayo Doritos. Now, upon first gander I thought this might be worth a try, like a spicy tuna roll in chip form. that i like. however, please read the official Frito Lay descriptor:

The Gourmet versions are back just in time for the new year. These Doritos are double fried for maximum crispiness and flavored with a wonderful new idea for a seasoning. Think of it as a toasted tuna fish sandwich. Mmmm!

Tuna fish is realllllly putrid (canned fish?) no. These just took a really unfortunate turn. 

Brave enough to try them???? Buy some HERE and please report back. 

breakfast of champions

ladies and gentlemen, 


behold the meat martini:

Breakin' it down:

• martini glass made of bacon and only bacon
• filled w scrambled eggs
• ice cubes made of haslet (pork meatloaf)
• garnished with a black pudding slice (apparently black pudding is a sausage composed of blood and fat of pig)
• dont forget the mushroom umbrella
• finished off with a sausage swizzle stick and a cherry tomato

Now, while this is amazing what is even more amazing is the man behind the meat martini. the man, the myth, the legend: Joel Veitch 

 His website www.rathergood.com is pretty bat shit, but worth checking out.


Ease in with a COMPLETE photo documentation of him creating and eating the Meat Martini HERE


I also recommend BACON ROCKET

macaroni rascals

Breaking News!!


CNN is taking a few minutes away from reporting real news to bring us something that actually matters.


Jersey Shore News. (Even if you aren't a Jersey Shore fan, you will find this to be delightful)

It seems that Jersey Shore is now being syndicated in Japan, and the translation, well, it is mind-blowingly amazing. beyond wildest hopes and dreams. 


"MTV Jersey Shore〜マカロニ野郎のニュージャージー・ライフ〜" 


Which means. 


Drumroll please. 


 "MTV Jersey Shore -- the New Jersey life of macaroni rascals."

The most glorious translation is explained as follows:

"Our only guess is that the folks at MTV were looking for a way to translate the Italian-American epithet 'guido' and stumbled upon something more Japanese but equally un-PC. Since this is a family website, we translated 'yaro' (野郎) as 'rascals' but the pejorative word can take on much more R-rated nuances.

According to Twitter user Daniel Feit, for all the strangeness of MTV Japan's translation, the term "macaroni rascals" does appear in the Japanese subtitles of the 1972 film "The Godfather." Someone in Programming apparently did their homework."

Read more on this fast-breaking story HERE


BUT WAIT! 


a quick photo montage of things that come up on the first page (the FIRST page) of google images when the term "macaroni rascals" is searched. enjoy:

~fini~

This looks itchy.

Clearly the world is running out of ideas if people are resorting to this.

wow.

a strong contender for worst idea ever, i bring you, hairy lingerie.

I have a lot to say about this. first, WHY? second, would it make more sense if these were flesh colored? I mean, if you are going to do it, why not do it all the way? Also who wears panties OVER fishnets? I really cant handle this.

Purchase your very own hairy bits here

weird diseases i dont want to get

Capgras Delusion:

If you suffer from capgras syndrome, you believe that important people in your life have been "abducted" and replaced by identical appearing imposters.

Cotard's Syndrome:

If you suffer from cotard's, you walk around thinking you are already dead.

I MEANNNN. First, both of these are nice words for FUCKING CRAZY.

meth kills.

Meth is truly the grossest drug. I am all for a good time but there is nothing sexy about it...you are "doing" batteries and rat poison. i gag.

If you MUST do a drug, I think it should do something for you, it should give back. Like how cokeheads are usually really skinny. It's the drug's way of doing some charity work.

Meth is not charitable. Look at what it did to this woman over only 8 years. Let's say 1 picture per year for arguments sake.

Anti-meth advertising is my new obsession. It's sooo sick and twisted (in the best possible way), but perhaps little budding meth heads around the world will put the meth down and start making squirrel-hand earrings, or something equally productive.

Please enjoy my two favorite ads:

"Beating an old man for money isn't normal. But on meth it is"

"You'll never worry about lipstick on your teeth again"

VILE

squirrels are disgusting. by far the worst of all rodents. most offensive are their hands, which look strangely human like.

brewdog has decided to make a beer inside of a squirrel. this is the worst idea in history. ever. im gagging.

even adorable outfits cannot right this wrong.
click here to buy. ew.

anyone who drinks out of that might as well rock these squirrel-hand earrings: