Beyonce: The Real Story

beyond adorbs to the maxxxxxxx

BEWARE HURRICANE SANDY

Katy Perry the Wedding Unicorn

Boy meets girl,

At burning man.

Boy marries girl,

with Katy Perry the (magical) Wedding Unicorn.

Katy Perry the Wedding Unicorn in all her glory.

This is no ordinary Katy Perry or Wedding Unicorn (obv) - she "pees" lemonade, shoots pink FIRE and sneezes glitter.

A guest enjoys Katy Perry the Wedding Unicorn's Lemonade Pee!

I mean. All I can really think to say is hallelujah. Suddenly I know what has been missing in my life. 

Katy Perry the Wedding Unicorn was a wedding gift from the bride + groom's friends (fellow burning man-mates, obv). She was built in Brooklyn before being carefully transported to Vermont for the nuptials. She took four months to create and cost nearly $3,000 in materials! 

Katy Perry the Wedding Unicorn shoots fire from it's uni-horn

And from another angle

Moment of true glory: Katy Perry the Wedding Unicorn shoots fire
AND sneezes glitter

The bride. 

obsession.

more HERE

exactly as i remember it...

Mickey Rourke gets corrective plastic surgery

wait....corrective?

Monday, Monday

Mondays Blow. Everyone knows this. 

I'm here to help.  

Please enjoy this music video and series of A+ photo moments intended to turn your frown upside down. 

Hulk Hogan Sex Tape.

Oh yeah, you read that right.

In what can only be explained as the end of days, a sex tape of Hulk Hogan and his BFF Bubba's ex-wife has surfaced to haunt us forever.

Before we get into the good stuff, 

I'd like to set the stage.

This is DJ Bubba The Love Sponge,

BFF of Hulk Hogan:

This is his ex-wife, Heather Clem and her dog:

(N.B: Heather and Bubba were married at the time the sex tape was filmed. eeeeeks!)

This is what Hulk Hogan looks like in case you forgot:

This is Linda Hogan:

(Upping the scandal factor, Hulk was married to Linda at the time this was filmed!!)

OK. Stage is set. A full length 30-minute tape is floating around but so far only this one minute clip has been released. Now, the sex is minimal but this tape is still AMAZING thanks entirely to the subtitles. Please enjoy:

Full recap available HERE

BEIBER: FACE OF AN ANGEL

Brangelina Rules The World

"i can't live in a world where this could happen"...

the BIEBS was robbed at The Grammys last night. Sad for him. Sadder for this girl:

I am NOT a hipster!

If you like Jersey Shore, you will sort of like Hipster Shore:

Hipster Shore - watch more funny videos

ice creamz

Ohhhhhh Gucci Mane. WHY WHY WHY did you get this tat????

Vuvu-grenade whistle

This is why DJ Pauly D is my second favorite Jersey Shore cast member:

funny emails from my friends

You guys I'm not eating until LA, where I will wear gigantic wrap sweaters and huge sunglasses while pretending to be surprised when I'm spotted by the paps. 

this aint no chewing gum....

if you do nothing else today, or in your life, watch this

CarStache. Gave me a Rash.

Accessories are all the rage, but accessories for your car? This makes me feel road rage. Like neon lights and vanity plates. But this has gone one step too far....


Behold, the CarStache!

Now. If I ran this company, I would have celebrity 'staches to choose from. Obv.

Here would be my top pics:

The Tom Selleck

Amish Paradise

Friedrich Nietzsche 

and my top seller, Hulkamania

Click HERE to pimp your ride!



PS. If you work for Carstache and try to steal my celeb ideas, I will hunt you down and shave your face.

macaroni rascals

Breaking News!!


CNN is taking a few minutes away from reporting real news to bring us something that actually matters.


Jersey Shore News. (Even if you aren't a Jersey Shore fan, you will find this to be delightful)

It seems that Jersey Shore is now being syndicated in Japan, and the translation, well, it is mind-blowingly amazing. beyond wildest hopes and dreams. 


"MTV Jersey Shore〜マカロニ野郎のニュージャージー・ライフ〜" 


Which means. 


Drumroll please. 


 "MTV Jersey Shore -- the New Jersey life of macaroni rascals."

The most glorious translation is explained as follows:

"Our only guess is that the folks at MTV were looking for a way to translate the Italian-American epithet 'guido' and stumbled upon something more Japanese but equally un-PC. Since this is a family website, we translated 'yaro' (野郎) as 'rascals' but the pejorative word can take on much more R-rated nuances.

According to Twitter user Daniel Feit, for all the strangeness of MTV Japan's translation, the term "macaroni rascals" does appear in the Japanese subtitles of the 1972 film "The Godfather." Someone in Programming apparently did their homework."

Read more on this fast-breaking story HERE


BUT WAIT! 


a quick photo montage of things that come up on the first page (the FIRST page) of google images when the term "macaroni rascals" is searched. enjoy:

~fini~

something is not right.

Things that make you go hmmmm....

Meet Cassius Marcellus Cornelius Clay:

ivygate

And here is Mr. Clay w Sir Kanye:

The story is a long, windy road...but basically this little kid (Yale class of '13..gah that makes me feel old!) anyway, he is apparently Kanye's new bff (read: lovah).Cassius (the child) was shopping at Barney's, looking at shoes, and Kanye compliments said shoes and I guess the two have been inseparable ever since? This makes no sense. I thought Kanye hated white people. And why this kid of all people? 

Seriously, I am SO confused. 

The deep level of confusion is stopping me from even commenting further at this time, I can only point you to IvyGate (it's like Gossip Girl meets Gawker for Ivy Leagues - awesome) to read the story in full. 

Someone please make sense of this madness. 

Antoine is a living Legend

Still looking for a Halloween costume idea? This is not it. 

I'm really proud of Antoine for riding his fifteen minutes...but:

Costume includes:

• Antoine Dodson Custom Hair Wig

• Red Bandana

• Black tank top

• Antoine's special rolled up paper

Costume is available here - but should you have to buy a this costume rather than make it, i deem you a fail.