Hairy Situation

WARNING: This post is not for the faint of heart. If you don't like gross things please fast forward to the next post. You've been warned.

Now if you do like gross things, sit back and relax because this is a doozie. 

this has nothing to do with a nun. 

Our story begins in Indore, India where a lovely 19 year old gal (lets call her Raita) decided to go to the hospital as she hadn't been able to eat or drink in several days and bitch was hungry. 

Raita's doctor was in for a treat! Raita liked to snack on HAIR AND CHALK and this had caused for a nasty situation. The chalk created a paste of sorts which combined with the hair RESULTED IN A FOUR POUND HAIR BALL STUCK IN HER STOMACH AND SMALL INTESTINES. 

I'll give you a minute to let that sink in.

A four pound hair ball FILLING her body.

What does a four pound hair ball look like?

(this is the gross part you've been warned)

Hairball post removal.

Goodness. That about sums it up. 

A Lesson In Stereotypes

Log on to Netflix, go directly to jail

Tennessee be wack, yo!

A new law has been passed making it illegal to sign into a friend's netflix account, even if they have given you the password. 

Anyone found guilty of "stealing" up to $500 could face a year in jail and a $2,500 fine. "Stealing" more than $500 and it's a felony charge with more jail time and bigger fees. 

Pretty stupid. 

"i can't live in a world where this could happen"...

the BIEBS was robbed at The Grammys last night. Sad for him. Sadder for this girl:

REALLY???

I realize that it is VURRY cold in NYC, but this is unacceptable behavior. I will be spending my night hunting this mythical beast.

i never do yard work, go rock climbing or engage in any sort of physical labor without my teva stilettos...

This truly is an all time low for Teva, which already is kind of an all time low, let's be honest. These actions shots are sent express-priority-return-receipt mail from the gods, mostly because the models are wearing SOCKS with their Teva Stilettos. I meannnnnnnn. Come ON, Teva! It's bad enough that we have to see middle-aged yuppies and Euros rocking the sock/sandal combo, but now this...

If you're going to be yard work chic, please follow cues from Eva Gabor, NOT Teva.

If you MUST own these (as a gag gift or science experiment only), you can do so HERE (btw, they are $330. that seems high for a Teva stiletto to me)

dont forget your kids!

WATCH. THIS. NOW.

There really aren't words. This is a zing display of courage, determination, academia, athleticism and general awesomeness. talk about improving the quality of your life: 

hide ya kids, hide ya wives

Bad reality TV is my life fuel. It's amazing to me that these people exist in real life. AMAZING. Even the writers of LOST (who are the smartest, best writers on earth) couldnt make this shit up.

Real Housewives (of all cities) happens to be one of the most genius franchises on earth. From table flipping to death threats to gold diggers to weave ripping to fake cancer - these shows are the sweet nectar of the gods.

And just when I think I have seen it all, something even better happens. While this is HIGHLY inapprops for primetime TV (read: I am officially old when TV offends me. Pffhh) it is also MIND BLOWING that these are REAL people who REALLY thought this was a good idea.

Please view the selected screen shots below from Real Housewives of ATL star Phaedra Parks and her ex-con husband doing a pregnancy photo shoot:

(a special thank you to Lord Lloyd for helping me aquire these images)

no friend o mine....

The below picture is from a REAL attendance sheet at a REAL school and is the name of a REAL child. Read the first kid's first name:

FRIENDOGOD????? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? This whole give my baby the weirdest name possible thing has gone TOO FAR. AND, to make matters worse, this poor child goes by "Friendo" - this poor kid will likely set themselves on fire before hitting puberty. Seems like a better option than living with that name.